Act 1, Scene 1: Candidate Donald Trump strides to the stage and stands behind a lectern. There is not a teleprompter in sight. A Greek style chorus of Trumpkins stands in the wings.
Donald Trump: We are going to build a wall and it’s gonna be beautiful.
Trumpkins (in unison): Build the Wall! Build the Wall! Build the Wall!
Donald Trump: Who’s gonna pay for it?
Trumpkin Chorus: Mexico! Mexico! Mexico!
Act 1, Scene 2: President Donald Trump wakes up early in the morning, grabs the remote and turns on Fox News. He reaches for his smart phone and logs into his Twitter account.
President Trump Tweets: The country needs a good shutdown.
Trumpkin Chorus: “Brilliant, Strategy! Build the Wall! Shut it Down! Brilliant!
Act 1, Scene 3: President Trump is standing at a lectern in Phoenix Arizona.
President Donald Trump: The obstructionist Democrats would like us not to do it. But believe me, if we have to close down our government, we’re building that wall
Trumpkin Chorus (fist pumping): Build That Wall, Build that Wall. Brilliant! Strategy. Shut it Down! Democrats are bad! Bad, Bad, Bad! Brilliant! Brilliant!
Act 1, Scene 4: Aboard Air Force One headed for Nebraska. President Trump is making a statement to reporters. Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi are chatting, grinning and sipping coffee. Mitch McConnell appears comatose. Paul Ryan is strapping on a parachute.
President Trump: We had a very good meeting with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. We agreed to a 3-month extension of the debt ceiling. We’re gonna keep the government open.
Trumpkin Chorus: Brilliant! Brilliant!
Wolf Blitzer from CNN: Is funding for the wall included?
Sarah Huckabee: Doesn’t anybody want to talk about Russia?
Wolf Blitzer: A follow up question—is funding for the wall included?
Sarah Huckabee: Sorry Wolf, we’ve run out of time
Trumpkin Chorus: Brilliant! Brilliant! 8 dimensional chess! Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant!
A Note to Theatre Patrons
During the Intermission the Donald J Trump Choir will be in the Lobby singing “Such a Brilliant Man” which many have compared favorably to the Lennon/McCartney Classic “Fool on the Hill”.
Alcohol will be served during the intermission. New Gingrich will be tending bar. Chris Christie will be checking IDs.